Always.

I was five when I stared at a long-haired blond teenage girl in the other end of our street. I was six when I was dreaming in the night about giving a hug to a long-haired brunette girl in the same age in the same swim school group. At about the same age, everytime me and my family was visiting a family with a one year younger girl, me and that girl locked ourselfs in her room, and I was playing hair-dresser, combing her hair over and over again. I have a memory that I had to hide to her that my dick was hard.

At 10-11, I first masterbated over a news magazine showing an adorable bikini girl with long golden hair. I became too shy to talk to long-haired girls, I only talked to other girls, and due to my religion I had no intention of having a girlfriend until I was old enough for marrigae. Instead I devoted myself to masterbation once or twice per day during the teenage, reading some magazine, or trying to remember girls I've seen in school or at the tele, or wathing my own drawings of girls with thigh-length hair covering the breasts and face.

At the about age of 21 i was married, but still watched MTV music videos with beautiful dancing girls with waist length hair - often daytime when I should take care of my university studies. 1995 was the year of the internet, and then I became really addicted. At first it was non-nude photos, sites like tlhs.org, and playboy girls. About the year of 2000, I started to pay for internet hosts, and once I visited a nudity bar. Since then I have tried various therapy methods to get rid of this addiction, since my proffesional carrier, my family, etc, are affected negatively. I have a wonderful wife, but she threatens to leave me every now and then. And I might loose my job if I continue. I have found some ways of controlling my addiction, but still it is a severe problem.

Addiction means that I don't live the life i want to live. But perhaps the problem is that this pathetic life is how I want to live it...